So it’s funny, I got to thinking about an aunt of mine this morning, who was labeled as crazy. But was she crazy? Or was she tired of living a life for other people’s satisfaction? She wore many hats and went by many names, mom, wife, caregiver, house keeper, stay at home mom. But at some point I’m sure her dreams and her hopes were sacrificed in order to raise her family. She had batshit crazy in-laws, no personal income, she was solely dependent on her husband. I can remember whispers about how she saw a psychiatrist and was even hospitalized so she had to have been crazy. Right? But the thing is… she wasn’t crazy, she was exhausted. She was tired of not living for herself, tired of being everything to everyone except herself. Women are discouraged at small ages not to stand up for themselves, just accept what’s being handed to you and be gracious about it. Don’t speak too loudly, let a man lead. I think that often women are not taught the importance of self care. While pampering yourself is a great form of self care, mental cleansing and disconnecting are also very important factors.
Disconnecting- this is removing yourself from others, environments, and routines. This is important for your mental health. I guess the thing I want people to take away from this is…. don’t let someone dull your light sis! Speak up and out, say no and mean it. You don’t owe shit to anyone but yourself!

Excuse me guys! I fucked up for a little while. I got myself into a little situation and had to really take some time getting back to myself before I could pick up and start this back. But here we go!

So I was in an extremely toxic relationship. Luckily I’m stronger than the person telling me I wasn’t. It came to a quick end and I’ve never felt better. Now I’m at this dating phase. But let me be loud and clear…. I am HAPPY being alone. Someone who can adapt to my life will be great but I’m not in any rush.

With that being said. Bitch be you and do you! Love is not pressure, it’s not dependent on you, it’s not manipulative. Don’t rush shit! And if he can’t show you in your face things like his “friends”, family, a job, his own apartment that you’ve been inside, actual money, and if he doesn’t tip the server 20% at least, KEEP IT MOVING. You hear me sis? You’re too good for this man!

So after talking to some friends, I think my next few blogs will cover some of my most wild, dirtiest, freakiest sexcapades. These will make you blush and are not for the faint of heart. But they’re real and they were definitely enjoyable or made for a funny as fuck story. Stay tuned.

Hiii! I hope you have enjoyed reading so far and look forward to these little life moments.

So let me start off by saying I am in no way the person to cram religion down anyone’s throat. I would like to think that I am mature and kind enough to respect other people and their religious viewpoints. I struggled for a long time with religion and having a relationship with God. Still there are days that I struggle with giving my problems to God. I often feel like I’m asking for too much, when in reality I’m probably not asking enough and definitely not being thankful enough.

But the crazy thing is that’s the Glory of God. He loves me so much that even when I forget to be thankful or gracious he doesn’t hold it against me. Look at that shit. If my church could hear me preaching. Haha! There’s not a Sunday that I don’t shed at least one tear in church and it’s just that my relationship with the Lord is a work in progress. Biiitch let me tell you it progresses daily!

Last year up until recently was probably one of the toughest times of my life. My son was diagnosed with epilepsy, I had to move, I bounced around jobs a little bit, and I was mentally and really physically tired and unstable. I gained an ass of weight, I was fucking depressed. I moved to Lula Ga and ended up looking after my batshit crazy grandmother. I’m 100% sure she has probably been a manipulative cunt her whole life but whatever. If any of my family reads this and feels offended…. I’m offended by you so stick it up your ass.

So anyways, me and God… and Shane. Shane is legitimately one of the kindest most enjoyable people who I admire and respect beyond words. He is also my co-worker who not only invited me but demanded I go to church with him and his family and text me the morning of to make sure I would be there. Since then, my life has done nothing but change for the better. My youngest son and I try to go faithfully, my oldest well he’s a work in progress.

When I tell you that once you make the decision to trust God. He will without a doubt carry and provide a way for you. I heard people talk about God told them to do this or that and I was honestly envious. How could these people hear God and know he was talking to them? They had faith. I had to find that same faith.

Recently, I had to quickly and I mean quickly find a place to live. My finances were not there, it was looking like a bad situation. I prayed and I trusted in God, I gave my problems to him. God provided. I needed to make more money to afford to be a single mom. God provided. I went to the doctor Friday down 25lbs. All by his Grace. I wanted to meet someone that could possibly be my life partner. If I’m listening like I think I am God is providing. Lately instead of asking for things, I’m thanking God for things.

I’m not trying to brow beat anyone about God or religion. I’m just sharing that I too had a hard time with believing. I had a doubtful heart. I had to put my ignorance and pride to the side to start seeing. My hope is that if you’re reading this and you’re having a hard time, you pray. Pray every day. Call, email or text me. I’ll pray with you.

This! This title is the name of a group of women I was added to by a friend! Let me tell you! I have found my people! They’re hysterical and the food for my thought tonight!

I’m so glad to meet women who aren’t afraid to be vulgar and talk about the things we’re not supposed to discuss because we have vaginas! The sex stories are hysterical and with that being said I feel like it’s only appropriate to tell some of my funniest.

**Disclaimer** My sexy and slutty stories will be a series to follow. Believe you and me… they’re good!

Buuut funny ones… here goes!

So I was friends with a girl in High school and after like the 10th grade I thought she was a total dick so I stopped hanging out with her. Only to of course run into her years later while slinging drinks. She was with her boyfriend at the time. Nice guy, I didn’t think too much about it. We chatted and I thought that was the end… welllll this was during the MySpace days! 😂 Remember those? My page was hot shit and you couldn’t tell me differently!

Anyways, said boyfriend of ex high school friend, found me! Started messaging me and asked me on a date. So I went. He said he was newly single and felt a connection when he first met me! 🚩🚩Ref throw the first red flag! That should have been it right there, those words enough for me to end it. But nooooo my dumb ass has to go along. So we meet and have drinks! 🚩🚩 He decides I should leave my car and go with him to his house. (100% the reason I will never again in life leave my car) So my ass goes to his house gets hammered and we start messing around. Welllll drunk me has to pee. Like drunk pee, about to pee my pants I gotta go situation. I say can you show me where the bathroom is? So naturally he takes me into the bathroom. I’m waiting for this fella to leave so I can relieve the flood gates building inside. Don’t you know this crazy mother fucker said I have a fetish!!! Me I’m like what?? He said I want to make out with you while you pee! I had to pee so bad, so bad I swear. My urethra curled up and put a kink in the hose! My body was not about to let that go down. I was instantly sober no longer had to pee and needed his drink ass to drive me to my car! This man dropped me off and I went into the nearest store and pissed for 10 minutes nonstop! Then text me and was like I had a good time. I thought yeah ok R. Kelly!

I still to this day wonder what weird shit they were into! Makes me look at this little girl I once thought was so innocent from little old white county so differently.

This is one of many my loves and I promise they get better and have greater detail! ❤️ Thanks for reading the beginning to my whore chronicles

So I thought for a while what in the hell would I write about.. I came to the conclusion that my first blog should be an introduction of me.

Me. Ashley Ledford… the one and only.

I’ve had a life full of wild experiences, crazy events, and it’s hardly even beginning. I’m 34, a plus size single mom of two teenagers. I’ve wondered for a long time when I would start feeling like a “ma’am” or a “Ms” but like they say you’re only as old as you feel. Right? If that’s the case I’m a solid 27yrs old. I can still drink like a champ, even though I prefer to day drink like a champ so I can be in bed no later than 10PM every night! Weekends are not an exception. Sure my body takes about a solid week to get over a hangover these days and I feel like shit the whole time but 27/34 who’s even counting.

I’ve dated black guys my whole life practically. My kids are biracial or as some people say “mixed” (I’m still trying to decide if that is an offensive term or not). Imagine trying to date in your 30’s… it’s kinda like the meme.. are we doing this or not because I’m just as happy cuddled up watching my murder detective series every night solo. At least Netflix cares if I’m still paying attention. I’ve had two maybe three serious relationships that I thought, OH MY GOD, this is it… the one I’m going to spend my life with… then I wake up the next morning and think Jesus Christ if he doesn’t get out of my bed and go home I’m going to kill both of us.

I’ve got the best friends a girl could ever ask for. I love watching them grow into the adults we are all meant to be. I can and will forever look back on individual moments and thank God we made it home safely, we made it out of that trip alive and we didn’t go to jail for any of our wreckless shenanigans. Believe those stories are to come and damn they’re hysterical and absolutely terrifying.

So my thoughts for this blog…. I want to talk about being plus size and having confidence. I can honestly say I’ve never looked at myself and hated myself. There are definitely things I don’t like and I want to change but I’m a work in progress. I fail every day but I keep going. I strive to be a good person, but I take no shit and speak my mind. Sometimes too much. But it’s all love usually. I also want to blog about dating, being a single mom and sex in your 30’s.

I hope to drop some knowledge sometimes for people who are starting out in their “Adult” life. By no means am I an expert, remember I just told you I fail every day… but I’ve got some great pointers. You know like know your social by the time you graduate, bread is your when you’re drinking along with water, hydration is key, do not send that drunk text you’ll regret it wholeheartedly, while twitter is fun don’t @someone who blocked you (you will never live it down), and when you get the drunk spins sleep with one foot on the ground.

So that’s me. Kind of. I think these are supposed to be shorter but umm.. it’s a work in progress.