This! This title is the name of a group of women I was added to by a friend! Let me tell you! I have found my people! They’re hysterical and the food for my thought tonight!
I’m so glad to meet women who aren’t afraid to be vulgar and talk about the things we’re not supposed to discuss because we have vaginas! The sex stories are hysterical and with that being said I feel like it’s only appropriate to tell some of my funniest.
**Disclaimer** My sexy and slutty stories will be a series to follow. Believe you and me… they’re good!
Buuut funny ones… here goes!
So I was friends with a girl in High school and after like the 10th grade I thought she was a total dick so I stopped hanging out with her. Only to of course run into her years later while slinging drinks. She was with her boyfriend at the time. Nice guy, I didn’t think too much about it. We chatted and I thought that was the end… welllll this was during the MySpace days! 😂 Remember those? My page was hot shit and you couldn’t tell me differently!
Anyways, said boyfriend of ex high school friend, found me! Started messaging me and asked me on a date. So I went. He said he was newly single and felt a connection when he first met me! 🚩🚩Ref throw the first red flag! That should have been it right there, those words enough for me to end it. But nooooo my dumb ass has to go along. So we meet and have drinks! 🚩🚩 He decides I should leave my car and go with him to his house. (100% the reason I will never again in life leave my car) So my ass goes to his house gets hammered and we start messing around. Welllll drunk me has to pee. Like drunk pee, about to pee my pants I gotta go situation. I say can you show me where the bathroom is? So naturally he takes me into the bathroom. I’m waiting for this fella to leave so I can relieve the flood gates building inside. Don’t you know this crazy mother fucker said I have a fetish!!! Me I’m like what?? He said I want to make out with you while you pee! I had to pee so bad, so bad I swear. My urethra curled up and put a kink in the hose! My body was not about to let that go down. I was instantly sober no longer had to pee and needed his drink ass to drive me to my car! This man dropped me off and I went into the nearest store and pissed for 10 minutes nonstop! Then text me and was like I had a good time. I thought yeah ok R. Kelly!
I still to this day wonder what weird shit they were into! Makes me look at this little girl I once thought was so innocent from little old white county so differently.
This is one of many my loves and I promise they get better and have greater detail! ❤️ Thanks for reading the beginning to my whore chronicles
