Small Graces

Hiii! I hope you have enjoyed reading so far and look forward to these little life moments.

So let me start off by saying I am in no way the person to cram religion down anyone’s throat. I would like to think that I am mature and kind enough to respect other people and their religious viewpoints. I struggled for a long time with religion and having a relationship with God. Still there are days that I struggle with giving my problems to God. I often feel like I’m asking for too much, when in reality I’m probably not asking enough and definitely not being thankful enough.

But the crazy thing is that’s the Glory of God. He loves me so much that even when I forget to be thankful or gracious he doesn’t hold it against me. Look at that shit. If my church could hear me preaching. Haha! There’s not a Sunday that I don’t shed at least one tear in church and it’s just that my relationship with the Lord is a work in progress. Biiitch let me tell you it progresses daily!

Last year up until recently was probably one of the toughest times of my life. My son was diagnosed with epilepsy, I had to move, I bounced around jobs a little bit, and I was mentally and really physically tired and unstable. I gained an ass of weight, I was fucking depressed. I moved to Lula Ga and ended up looking after my batshit crazy grandmother. I’m 100% sure she has probably been a manipulative cunt her whole life but whatever. If any of my family reads this and feels offended…. I’m offended by you so stick it up your ass.

So anyways, me and God… and Shane. Shane is legitimately one of the kindest most enjoyable people who I admire and respect beyond words. He is also my co-worker who not only invited me but demanded I go to church with him and his family and text me the morning of to make sure I would be there. Since then, my life has done nothing but change for the better. My youngest son and I try to go faithfully, my oldest well he’s a work in progress.

When I tell you that once you make the decision to trust God. He will without a doubt carry and provide a way for you. I heard people talk about God told them to do this or that and I was honestly envious. How could these people hear God and know he was talking to them? They had faith. I had to find that same faith.

Recently, I had to quickly and I mean quickly find a place to live. My finances were not there, it was looking like a bad situation. I prayed and I trusted in God, I gave my problems to him. God provided. I needed to make more money to afford to be a single mom. God provided. I went to the doctor Friday down 25lbs. All by his Grace. I wanted to meet someone that could possibly be my life partner. If I’m listening like I think I am God is providing. Lately instead of asking for things, I’m thanking God for things.

I’m not trying to brow beat anyone about God or religion. I’m just sharing that I too had a hard time with believing. I had a doubtful heart. I had to put my ignorance and pride to the side to start seeing. My hope is that if you’re reading this and you’re having a hard time, you pray. Pray every day. Call, email or text me. I’ll pray with you.